Sunday, 18 January 2009

Tyrant TYRA the Dullard Llama


The endless precession of 'America's Next Top Model' continues. At some indefinable point in the future, given what must be a constant filming process, with no gaps on the conveyor belt allowed, every girl will at one time have been one of the winners.

Dr Nostrum has rumbled the purpose of the show. It is a flimsy sham to get TYRA BANKS into the collective unconscious. Each series has seen a ramping up of Tyra's lessons in life (put simply, the lesson is that anything you can do, Tyra has done better). These lesson's are more and more frequently accompanied by vapid homilies, for yes, in the beginning the was the word and the word was TYRA.

Thing is, with the collection of bitching insects needing succor around her (save, strangely for Nigel Barker, perhaps a Judas in waiting if he were ever to come to his senses) any opportunity to preach down is never knowingly missed, and believe me, the preaching is always DOWN, for she literally stands on a pedestal to make sure of it (or has the girls in a trench - either works) frequently preceded by the faux unself-conscious performance of how they should have done it.

With the koan like pearls of banality that drip from her glossy lips wrapping up the show after axing one of the stooges more becomes clear: It is simply ego given it's head.

Wanna be on top? Not of you.

Still, I'm sure the feeling's mutual.

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