All Talk 33 - Soundalikes and the Great Emblotchment of 1770

Dr Nostrum:

I was trying to find the radio station. But I couldn't find it again. It only came on whilst I was driving through Golders Green. The presenter sounded exactly like Will Self.

Hutchback:

Is it aimed purely at Jews? The Hampstead, Swiss Cottage, Golders Green golden Jewish triangle… are you sure it was Will Self.

Dr Nostrum:

No I'm not sure, he sounded like him.

Hutchback:

There cant be that many people that sound like Will Self

Dr Nostrum:

No… but it was the manner in which he spoke… he talked about "the Great Emblotchment of the 1770's was a scandal that had a worldwide impact" and then went on to tell a 10 minute story about the Great Emblotchment… (does Will Self voice) "and Emblotchment went on to spread throughout the Universe and thus we all became Emblotched, it was started accidentally by William Pitt the Elder."

Hutchback:

Oh

Dr Nostrum:

It just seemed to be him.

Hutchback:

Or someone pretending to be him

Dr Nostrum:

Which is pointless

Hutchback:

Why pretend to be Will Self when you could pretend to be George Bush Senior, yeah…

Dr Nostrum:

Are you going to go and see that?

Hutchback:

What?

Dr Nostrum:

'W'

Hutchback:

Aaah (high pitched) aiii maybe

Dr Nostrum:

Would Mrs Hutchback want to see it.

Hutchback:

I doubt it.

(They leave the Hutchback's lair, and see the hated Blue Van parked in front of the Hutchback's wagon)

Hutchback:

I get so paranoid now about that Blue Van. Every time I go out I have to calculate how long I'm going to be gone for. Will he be looking out of his window waiting for me to leave so he can reverse into my space and break down again… the cunt… I'll give him a Great Emblotchment.

(They get onto the Hutchback's Wagon)

Dr Nostrum:

You know the game isn't today it's tomorrow (referring to their favoured football team Gosky Borough)

Hutchback:

Aah that's changed the whole outlook of my afternoon. Because I was looking forward to us beating East Turkey.

Dr Nostrum:

And now you can't

Hutchback:

I can't. Instead I'm going to have to spend the afternoon with you (laced with barely concealed bitterness)

Dr Nostrum:

(Chuckles menacingly)