Sunday, 18 January 2009

They Finally Did It! Tyrant Tyra Marches To The Beat Of The Sympathy Drum

Can't let the evening pass without picking up on last nights UK exposure to the ongoing shafting of the freedom to avoid Tyra Banks mentioning ever so selflessly that she has done everything better than anyone who dares step into her world, that is America's Next Top Model.

The Final of the series, this time included the 'Full Figure' model and the tension was palpable in the good Dr's Castle. How long would they tease the Fat Girl (it's all relative) into thinking she was going to win?

Our three finalists were Anya, Fatima and the Fat Girl (it's all relative), who's name I can't remember at the moment, but it'll come back to me.

Anya Kop looks a little like a streched, punched Gwen Stefani (how Hutchback would love to stuff that Stefani Calamari) who speaks exactly like Woody Allen's Miss America from Sleeper. I enjoyed her every vacant exclamation. A true blithering idiot without an iota of self conciousness.

In fact, as an aside, hats off to Tyra for unwittingly honouring Spike Milligan with each repetition of having the girls read in unison from a digital idiot board.

Fatima Said, the Imanalike snooty bitch who bears her circumcision before us like a cross, (you don't hear the Jews complaining) (yes, I know) (yes, I know that too) might be the one girl from the whole Show that gets a bit of a career going as a model, perhaps the word came down from Iman to pass over her. Here though, she is a nearly girl, laughably, she has both a superiority and an inferiority complex. The inferiority won out.

Whitney Thompson (I had to look it up) only looks big next to the model shaped girls standing next to her. If you walked past her in the street she'd just look like "a hot chick" according to Tyra. Funny that, because I had forgotten that I was watching America's Next Top Hot Chick.

So how far did they tease the Plus Size? All the way. She Won. They've teased her right past the winning line into believing the Model industry will use her ahead of every other girl that will fit into their clothes without them having to re-make them.

Don't you believe it all you size 10's out there. You ain't gonna get Tyra's vote no more. They had to have one Full Figure Winner to silence all the voices asking why they even bother picking her. Well, they've done it. Now we can all move on.

If only Tyrant Tyra would move on too.

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