Sunday 18 January 2009

All Talk 25 - The Comedians Graveyard and The Best PR Firm in the World

DR. NOSTRUM

I did enjoy those pictures of people sleeping inside cardboard boxes inside Terminal 5, I thought that was quite funny.

HUTCHBACK

Hmm.

DR. NOSTRUM

Great British.. There was a thing about Great British opening disasters and the best one that I read about was, um, I think, the opening of the line that linked, er, Wigan to Liverpool with Robert Louis Stephenson's Engine and, er, at the opening it ran over the Local MP and killed him. (pause) You don't get much of that these days do you – opening day disasters where important people are killed? I can't think of the last one really. What was the last one (pause) – Gordon Kaye nearly got k.. he's not important. There was a thing on the radio about them dubbing, um, 'Allo 'Allo into German – German TV have bought 'Allo 'Allo. God, that says a lot about German TV doesn't it? 25 years after it was broadcast German TV have finally bought it.

HUTCHBACK

Why?

DR. NOSTRUM

80 other countries bought it; I can't understand it. Can you imagine the PR firm who must've.. they must be the best PR firm in the world, whoever sold 'Allo 'Allo to 80 countries.

HUTCHBACK

Yeah, well...

DR. NOSTRUM

I can't imagine it makes sense in many other languages really.

HUTCHBACK

I'm sure it would, they dub it.

DR. NOSTRUM

Yeah I know they dub it, but...

HUTCHBACK

Well?

DR. NOSTRUM

That's what that friend of Will Son Of Will does, doesn't he? He's a dub vocalist.

HUTCHBACK

Um... (pause)

DR. NOSTRUM

D'you remember?

HUTCHBACK

They'd do an even better job if they could sell Freddie Starr to the German's. You know, Freddie Starr's Comedy Hour?

DR. NOSTRUM

Yeah, he might turn up in one of Tarantino's films or something. No, you know where he'll end up; he'll end up on Eastenders.

HUTCHBACK

With Bobby Davro.

DR. NOSTRUM

Maybe that'll be the Graveyard for, er.. Can you imagine Freddie Starr turning up and having a fight with...

HUTCHBACK

Russ Abbott.

DR. NOSTRUM

Russ Abbott? What's happened to Russ Abbott, didn't he die, or something?

HUTCHBACK

No, did he?

DR. NOSTRUM

Just.. only career wise. Bruce Forsyth? No, he's got a career going still. Hale and Pace? What happened to.. weren't they on Extras?

HUTCHBACK

Yes.

DR. NOSTRUM

Oh yeah, they were – Hale and Pace. All those people line up – there's an endless number of people line up to be humiliated aren't there, people who haven't got careers? Like Rebecca Loos – that was great – I couldn't think of humiliating someone more, unless she'd been fucked by the pig instead of wanking it off. They probably thought of that – is there any way we can construct it so she can be fucked by the pig – she probably would have done it too, for a million dollars.

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