All Talk 54 - God, The Single Parent Family

DR. NOSTRUM

It’s very unfortunate, you know, twice I’ve been down here to do this and they're probably the only two times in recent history that M’s been annoyed at me. But, oh boy, just, how not to be a cunt?

HUTCHBACK

Lessons in not being a cunt. You can follow this every week as DR. NOSTRUM tries to be less of a cunt.

DR. NOSTRUM

I’ll achieve it.

HUTCHBACK

Follow his progress...

DR. NOSTRUM

Towards sainthood. Cos that really is the apotheosis of not being a cunt.

HUTCHBACK

Yes.

DR. NOSTRUM

It’s sainthood.

HUTCHBACK

Although, according to the bible, that probably isn’t the biblical definition.

DR. NOSTRUM

What? How Jesus was described?

HUTCHBACK

He was the least cunt-like out there.

DR. NOSTRUM

That’s right.

HUTCHBACK

That’s why he was the son of god.

DR. NOSTRUM

Sure. Cos the Son of God...

HUTCHBACK

Shouldn’t be a cunt.

DR. NOSTRUM

No.

HUTCHBACK

Or, rarely. Very rarely should he be a cunt.

DR. NOSTRUM

Did he have just one son?

HUTCHBACK

Did he have j..! No, cos there was that Holy Ghost bloke, wasn’t there? Wasn’t he like a half son?

DR. NOSTRUM

I think ‘only children’ are not great. I think you should always have more than one child, if you’ve got the choice. God, if God had had the choice he’d have probably had more than one son.

HUTCHBACK

If only God existed, then everything would be alright.

DR. NOSTRUM

So, God was a single parent family.

HUTCHBACK

Yeah.

DR. NOSTRUM

So actually, that should be enshrined in the bible. Don’t you think that it should be enshrined in the Bible above marriage, if we are to live in the image of God that He was a single parent family?

HUTCHBACK

Yeah

DR. NOSTRUM

And in fact it was the Father that got custody

HUTCHBACK

(reading off the ceefax window on the TV – june 2008 remember - there’s a game show going on) Bank states that credit fears are overstated. (he turns the TV back to the show with the sound off - a game show is on)

DR. NOSTRUM

What is this, ‘Children against an Indian’?

HUTCHBACK

I have no idea

DR. NOSTRUM

Ah, no, no, it's “Are you smarter than an immigrant?’ could be a BNP programme.

HUTCHBACK

And on that note

DR. NOSTRUM

Good night.