All Talk 19 - Micro-Machine Technology Products

DR. NOSTRUM

You know what's changed? The difference in culture is America, that's what's changed!

HUTCHBACK

It's all their fucking fault.

DR. NOSTRUM

Cos America is a place where casual, first, throw away nonsense becomes a career...

HUTCHBACK

Mm-hmm.

DR. NOSTRUM

...you know, where people actually do the things that you say, rather than think 'what a lot of rubbish'. That's the difference.

HUTCHBACK

Yes?

DR. NOSTRUM

And they make all the stuff, and everything like that. You know, I used to give John The Case bits of paper with these little drawings of stuff – do you remember when he worked with that guy who came up with that keyboard, you know – you project the keyboard..?

HUTCHBACK

Yeah

DR. NOSTRUM

...which I actually thought was the wrong way round, cos it didn't make any sense – why didn't you roll up the keyboard and project the screen? That would make much more sense.

HUTCHBACK

Yes

DR. NOSTRUM

It would make more sense if you think about it, cos trying to tap on a table is nowhere near as easy as trying to tap on a keyboard and you don't need to look at a screen, you can look at anything, so it wouldn't make – anyway, it doesn't matter, he didn't do it, which, you know, if you'd have employed me... Um, you know, these little things, you remember that bloke who built the clockwork radio...

HUTCHBACK

It wasn't clockwork.

DR. NOSTRUM

(realizing his stupidity – for once) Clockwork radio! It ran on steam.

HUTCHBACK

All the diodes were.. all the computer circuitry was made out of clockwork. It performed lots of, you know, calculations.

DR. NOSTRUM

Anyway – wouldn't it be better – and this is what I used to give him – and you'll remember these words – I.. you know, this thing.. you know that, that thing that I've based almost all my inventions on, which is the little thing you squeeze which creates sparks?

HUTCHBACK

Yes

DR. NOSTRUM

Well, whoever came up with that was a genius, but, um, probably Edison I suppose, but anyway, um (pause) if you had a little radio...

HUTCHBACK

You mean those things you get in plastic ray guns?

DR. NOSTRUM

Yeah, yeah, that, right? If you had that inside a radio then instead of having a big fucking thing you would.. you'd just squeeze it. You would, you'd just squeeze it and you'd have a capacitor to store the energy that you've got when you squeeze it and it runs on that. That would be great.

HUTCHBACK

No it wouldn't.

DR. NOSTRUM

Right. No, it wouldn't but you could present that to American Inventor and I said I didn't know how it would actually work because, you know, the idea is good – you squeeze something and it creates energy, so...

HUTCHBACK

Not very much.

DR. NOSTRUM

No, not very much, but enough to run a radio.

HUTCHBACK

No it doesn't.

DR. NOSTRUM

I bet it would.

HUTCHBACK

No, bollocks.

DR. NOSTRUM

If you squeezed it for like 30 seconds...

HUTCHBACK (drawing them out)

No, no...

DR. NOSTRUM

...you might be able to store enough energy.

HUTCHBACK

No.

DR. NOSTRUM

...Anyway, the way I used to describe it was an arrow pointing to these things and it said "micro-machine technology"...

HUTCHBACK (remembering)

Yes.

DR. NOSTRUM

Right?

HUTCHBACK

Micro-machine technology.

DR. NOSTRUM

And that was it – and now, someone has invented micro-machine technology it might actually have a chance of working – all these things, all these inventions.

HUTCHBACK

Except (pause) it's not called micro-machine technology.

DR. NOSTRUM

Well, it's close – nano-technology – it's close.