HUTCHBACK
No, but here's an interesting fact – that always precedes a very boring fact, whenever you hear someone say "and here's an interesting fact" there's always..
DR. NOSTRUM
..A boring fact before it..
HUTCHBACK
A lead in to a really boring piece of information...
DR. NOSTRUM
Oh, right.
HUTCHBACK
...however...
DR. NOSTRUM
Yeah, go on.
HUTCHBACK
You may or may not find this interesting...
DR. NOSTRUM
Yeah
HUTCHBACK
For the first 300,000 years of the Universe..
DR. NOSTRUM
It'll be more interesting than Wii Fit. (pause) Yeah. (pause) Ants? Were there any ants?
HUTCHBACK
The...
DR. NOSTRUM
No.
HUTCHBACK
Light could not have been seen in the Universe.
DR. NOSTRUM
What, cos it was too dusty?
HUTCHBACK
There were no - gaps, if you like.
DR. NOSTRUM
Too dusty?
HUTCHBACK
Yes, it was just..
DR. NOSTRUM
It was solid?
HUTCHBACK
Not exactly solid, but you couldn't pass light through it.
DR. NOSTRUM
Sounds like Diarrhea.
HUTCHBACK
Huh?
DR. NOSTRUM
Sounds like someone talking about stool samples.
HUTCHBACK
You couldn't pass... you couldn't.. No. Light could not...
DR. NOSTRUM
Be seen.
HUTCHBACK
...be seen. That's pretty good. So, in fact, The Bible..
DR. NOSTRUM
It just doesn't make sense.
HUTCHBACK
...The Bible's right.
DR. NOSTRUM
What? "Let there be light." Cos when it thinned.. it started thinning out.
HUTCHBACK
Yeah. No, "And first there was darkness...
DR. NOSTRUM
And then there was light.
HUTCHBACK
...and then there was light."
DR. NOSTRUM
That's not bad.
HUTCHBACK
See?
DR. NOSTRUM
So, actually, it's much more concise than the Guardian...
HUTCHBACK
Yeah.
DR. NOSTRUM
...really?
HUTCHBACK
Much more concise. No, but I can go into more detail.
DR. NOSTRUM
Right. No, no, but what I'm saying is – The Bible, succinctly, whenever that was written; two, three thousand years ago, was a lot easier reading than that supplement.
HUTCHBACK
Yeah.
DR. NOSTRUM
Before they started talking about killing people for wanking.
HUTCHBACK
Yeah, so, basically, the Universe was an average of about a thousand degrees centigrade – so quite hot...
DR. NOSTRUM
Yeah, that's pretty hot.
HUTCHBACK
That's pretty hot.
DR. NOSTRUM
Although some places, no, no actually, thinking about it, cos some places were stars and some places weren't...
HUTCHBACK
No, no. There were no stars.
DR. NOSTRUM
So why was it hot?
HUTCHBACK
It was still hot from The Big Bang.
DR. NOSTRUM
From the exspanktion?
HUTCHBACK
(mocking) Yeah. From the expanktion. It exspank-e-ted. It ex-pangéd.
DR. NOSTRUM
No, but if the stars were billions of degrees, and space is nothing...
HUTCHBACK
Stars aren't billions of degrees.
DR. NOSTRUM
So.. so what's the average now?
HUTCHBACK
The average no is just above zero. Just above absolute zero. There's a lot of space.
DR. NOSTRUM
So it's getting colder.
HUTCHBACK
It's getting a lot colder, yes. Clearly. But it won't, it won't.. it won't...
DR. NOSTRUM
It doesn't carry on getting colder?
HUTCHBACK
Yes it does. Until...
DR. NOSTRUM
Until it's too cold.
HUTCHBACK
...until everything dies.
DR. NOSTRUM
Yes.
HUTCHBACK
The Heat Death of The Universe.
DR. NOSTRUM
So before there was light, there was heat?
HUTCHBACK
Yes
DR. NOSTRUM
So if it..
HUTCHBACK
There was a lot of heat (pause) and there was no light. The Big Bang...
DR. NOSTRUM
So why doesn't it say "Let it be hot"?
HUTCHBACK
...was completely dark.
DR. NOSTRUM
"And Lo, God said "Let it be hot""
HUTCHBACK
"Let it be hot." So they all went to Eilat. And so the Prophet went to Eilat and he, um, he sunbathed for a bit and shaved his beard off. No, no this is.. interestingly enough (laughs) again, interestingly enough, Stars...
DR. NOSTRUM
Hmm.
HUTCHBACK
...are millions of degrees, but...
DR. NOSTRUM
Yeah
HUTCHBACK
...A red dwarf is only around 3000 degrees, so, you know, quite mild, really. Compared to millions that's quite mild.
DR. NOSTRUM
I knew there was an 'illions' in it.
HUTCHBACK
Yeah, but not billions, I think billions is too hot. But anyway, so the reason was..
DR. NOSTRUM
Is that's what's called Entropy then...
HUTCHBACK
Yes, pretty much.
DR. NOSTRUM
...The slow heat death of the Universe?
HUTCHBACK
Yes, very good. Very good, that's a gold star for the DR.
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