Saturday, 17 January 2009

Ronald McDonald for a better Afghanistan & A New Viagra’s figurehead


There is a huge missed opportunity to privatise the military, or at least bring in shit-loads of extra money. this came to me in a flash as a story was told to me about a co-worker digging up an unexploded ww2 bomb the other week. I could only imagine the manufacturer's name plate on the side of it. (translating) "This bomb is brought to you by Luftwaffe, Kurt and Sons". and all of a sudden we're off: The underside of US planes and helicopters seems an obvious place to start.

"Ronald McDonald for a better Afghanistan - We're Lovin' It" the golden arches would fit very well across the wings actually.

What about advertising on the screens of the bomb guidance systems? Certainly there must be room for the latest fuck 'em up sim. (or something 'other', say - "Trojans, for todays heroes"?)

Maybe the tanks could be loud-speakered up with the fabulous "By Mennen" jingle, those three notes endlessly blared at debilitating volume cold prove an effective weapon and create brand awareness at the same time.

There really is nowhere you'd need to stop, from bullets sponsored by "Microdon - for what comes next" to Battleships fitted with Google SeaView cams.

Funds would surely be next to limitless, allowing government ministers to cream off huge amounts of money for their dungeon building hostage exploits. Imagine the recent shudders that went through the family incarceration/incest circles the civilised world over as one of their number was tapped up by his ungrateful grand-daughter. Now there's a posterboy for Viagra if ever there was one. I believe his agent is also fishing for DIY chain spokesperson work for him too.

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