Saturday, 17 January 2009



Kato, released from the long years of subservience to Peter Sellers heirs, has reinvented himself as a hard as nails ex glamour model and gone and married himself an ex cultural joke. This brings Kato almost full circle from where we first saw him as the sharp obedient brains in a suit behind a young foolish french detective. After starring in Ang Lee's epic tale of tragic homoeroticism, HULK, Kato swiftly transited to low-brow reality. We, the money, are reminded every week how lucky we are to be invited into the pointlessness of Kato and the ex cultural joke's life. The cultural joke's now on us as we simper and glance askew at Kato's relentless BREAST rejuvenations, as we wonder, is that some problem with Kato's upper lip, or is it the light. Kato has two good reasons to be concerned about her appearance, because without them he would have no impact, other than as a nagging Harridan who constantly reminds the ex cultural joke that the ex cultural joke is a mere divorce away from becoming an embarrassment. DR NOSTRUM sympathises, in America DR NOSTRUM even sympathizes, for achieving the status of a cultural joke is not the work of a moment, it takes years of dedicated self deprecation and swallowing of semen to rise above the level of a cultural irrelevance to the exalted level of a joke, but the amount of semen needed to pass the lips in order to achieve Kato's status can only be described eloquently as "Gene Semens", the lead leg runner in Kiss, who always fail to get the baton round despite Gene's bursting out of the blocks at every opportunity (incidentally I happen to know that Gene was in fact a psychologist of some repute in his mid thirties who traveled forward in time to allow himself to be teaching in Pittsburgh at the same time as appearing on his own reality TV show in his mid fifty's.).

Some jokes have staying power, but some disappear for years and need resuscitation by iconic Japanese butlers forced to reinvent themselves after being on the receiving end of a trawl through the gutter to find work with any circus travelling through (in England this time, you will notice, for in America you merely travel; they have no need of the "l" you need to experience to make it in the UK sidekick business). So KATO has thus been a means for Salvation for the ex cultural joke, for without the ex cultural joke we would be left watching a moderately unpleasant reinvention on a stick who feels the need to tell us how they are "Shitting themselves" at every demure opportunity for self concern and that would not be a 'Show', merely an indulgence.

I warm to the ex cultural joke weekly and wish it every good luck in extricating itself from the clutches of Kato in order to fully discover that it is more of a man than Kato and more of a woman too. You go Peetee!

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