HUTCHBACK
Ah, no, but then it gets a bit more complicated, because some practical jokes would not lead to a conviction.
(pause the DR. is bemused)
Ok. Say for instance, Practical Joke; I left a sword on the staircase and someone fell over and died on it. No court in the land would send you to jail for that.
DR. NOSTRUM
What, as opposed to pushing someone off a cliff?
HUTCHBACK
Yeah, because pushing someone off a cliff is much more.. No, because if you left.. you know, and then sometime later someone came down the stairs, tripped over and fell on the sword and it killed them.
DR. NOSTRUM
Maybe Negligence?
HUTCHBACK
Negligence. You wouldn’t go to prison for that.
DR. NOSTRUM
(not getting it) So that would be ‘Negligent Practical Joke’?
HUTCHBACK
Ok, that’s a nonsense.. that’s a silly example. Say you leave a knife..
DR. NOSTRUM
(sarcasm) Yeah, that’s a silly one, forget that one.
HUTCHBACK
No, okay, you leave your washing machine open with a big knife pointing up out of the tray (pause) as a practical joke, hoping someone might trip over and fall on it. For a joke.
DR. NOSTRUM
The dishwasher?
HUTCHBACK
The washing machine, er, the dishwasher.
DR. NOSTRUM
What, hoping that someone might fall over?
HUTCHBACK
Trip over, fall on it. (the DR. is shaking his head) Why not, that’s happened
DR. NOSTRUM
No, no, that’s not a practical joke.
HUTCHBACK
Why is that not a practical joke?
DR. NOSTRUM
Because the likelihood of someone tripping over as they reach the dishwasher is nothing you can rely on. The practical joke is something where you know someone’s going to do something, so you’d have to...
HUTCHBACK
Ok, so you to set up..
DR. NOSTRUM
...you’d have to, No. You’d have to lift the.. you’d loosen the floorboards.
HUTCHBACK
Well, there you go.
DR. NOSTRUM
You loosen the floorb..
HUTCHBACK
No, no, you just squirt some washing up liquid on the floor.
DR. NOSTRUM
Ok, washing up liquid on the floor and knives sticking up out of..
HUTCHBACK
There’s no court in the land would convict you of that. I’d stake my legal reputation on it.
DR. NOSTRUM
No, I think that’s too much, I think they would convict you.
HUTCHBACK
No, why would they convict you?
DR. NOSTRUM
Because the intention is to harm.
HUTCHBACK
They could never prove that you..
DR. NOSTRUM
No, the intent is to harm.
HUTCHBACK
They could never prove you intended it.
DR. NOSTRUM
To do what?
HUTCHBACK
You would say, “I never planned that as a practical joke, it was just an unfortunate accident.”
DR. NOSTRUM
What are you talking about?
HUTCHBACK
That would be your defense.
DR. NOSTRUM
But how can that be your defense?!
HUTCHBACK
That would be your defense!
DR. NOSTRUM
But it’s a circular argument. “I did this thing, but I never intended to do it.” What’s that?
HUTCHBACK
No, because the prosecution investigation, that would be their case; that it was a planned practical joke and your defense would be that it was just an accident. (pause) I can see you’re struggling with that.
DR. NOSTRUM
I am struggling with that.
HUTCHBACK
Why? Why are you struggling with it?
DR. NOSTRUM
So you’re saying the charge. The charge is Practical Joke...
HUTCHBACK
Yes, the charge...
DR. NOSTRUM
...not the defense?
HUTCHBACK
...yes, of course!! What?
DR. NOSTRUM
That’s what I was struggling with...
HUTCHBACK
You go in..
DR. NOSTRUM
...you do something that’s a practical joke and you say that “I didn’t do it.”
HUTCHBACK
Well yeah, but no, because.. Well, people could accuse you. You could be accused of Murder by Practical Joke. You wouldn’t go in and say..
DR. NOSTRUM
But you would be wholly innocent! Cause if they accused you of doing it by Practical Joke, isn’t it too obscure? What’s the point of charging you with ‘Practical Joke’, why can’t they just charge you with murder?
HUTCHBACK
Because they’d never get murder. They’d never get a murder conviction for that, but they might get death by practical joke, if ty can prove that you put the.. It’s easier to convict someone of ‘Death By Practical Joke’.
DR. NOSTRUM
Sound like a lot of the Inspector Morse, um, mysteries, you know. Where there’s a very convoluted way of killing someone. In fact, there was that Columbo one where he was murdered by the dogs. The defense could have been a practical joke that went wrong.
HUTCHBACK
It was a practical joke to set the dogs on him?
DR. NOSTRUM
Yeah, you didn’t know the dogs would kill him, but you thought it was funny.
HUTCHBACK
You thought it was funny.
DR. NOSTRUM
Well, there we go, so it’s not manslaughter cause, no, but it would be man.. no.. why..
HUTCHBACK
No, you can be accu.. you can go to prison for dog attacks. You can definitely go to prison for dog attacks.
DR. NOSTRUM
Mm. To me now I can only see it as a defense rather than an accusation. I don’t think it’s worth making the accusation, but I can see it as a defense.
HUTCHBACK
Alright, so the accusation would be murder and then your defense is practical joke.
DR. NOSTRUM
And it’s a.. no, it’s a plea, it’s a plea. The plea is, it was a Practical Joke that went wrong, which is not as serious as manslaughter.
HUTCHBACK
Yes. So then they’d have to come up with a...
DR. NOSTRUM
Sentence tariff.
HUTCHBACK
...crime and a sentence called Practical Joke. Yep, I think that’s perfectly reasonable.
DR. NOSTRUM
Yep. Ok, so that’s one.
HUTCHBACK
That’s one, we’ve cracked one prediction.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment